Her dating profile said she was from a small town way up north in Alaska. That seemed unlikely but I sent her a message saying, next time I go that way I will look her up. She thought is was funny and we talked for a while. At the end of the night she gave me her email. Not her number but her email. It was no big deal, there was nothing going on between us except for a few jokes. I was manic so I would write long messages to anyone.
I sent her an email but didn’t hear anything back for a month. I wasn’t worried, I was talking to other women. Her responses were long but they barely contained any information about herself. I didn’t think she had much interest but I wrote back to everyone who emails me. I was “just the facts” in the emails I wrote. This went on for over a year. She usually wrote me once a month or even less. Again I would give her basic updates on my life. Even when I was homeless and using the computers at the public library, I told her about it. Just as a matter of fact, not in a “I want to move in with someone” way. Our emails went on like that for over a year but I felt no connection
Everything changed when I got my own place. She started sending longer emails and divulging more personal information. It turns out, she was being so secretive because I lived with my brother previously and she had a young child she was afraid to have strange men meet.
I could understand that but I was surprised she invited herself to my place. I was fine with that because I hadn’t made any new friends since I moved in. She kept stressing she did not want to have sex. I thought it was weird because in all the emails we shared we had never mentioned sex. But she kept saying she didn’t want to have sex leading up to us meeting. She even asked me if I could handle spending the night with a woman without having sex. I told her, I am over 40 I think I can restrain myself.
When she knocked on my door, I knew by her smile that the no sex thing had gone out the window. I invited her in and she bounced in the chair for a few minutes with a huge grin on her face. I thought, cool, I’m getting laid tonight. After only being here for 5 minutes she got up and walked to my bedroom door and asked, is this your bedroom, and disappeared inside. I got up to follow her and 5 minutes later we were having sex.
After it was over I had to tell her this can only be about sex since we just hopped into bed hardly knowing each other. She asked if she could think about it and I told her to take as much time as wanted. She faced the wall for a bit and then turned back to me and said she didn’t think it would be a problem. Little did I know.
She lived fairly close to me before I moved but then she traveled an hour to see me for 3 Saturdays in a row where I live now. After the first time meeting her emails became more expansive and we also started talking on the phone. She told me about her daughter’s ex boyfriend whom she had a restraining order out on. She also told me about her family and how she doesn’t like them because they were all “crazy.”
The 3rd time she came over something changed and creeped me out. You know how you can tell someone is looking at you even before you see them? I woke up in the morning I could feel her staring at me even though I hadn’t opened my eyes. I opened them and looked over to her. She was propped up on one elbow and had googly eyes and a big goofy smile. As soon as I turned in her direction she said, I love it when you look at me, it makes me feel all gushy inside. Oh no, it had happened.
A few days I called her to end it. I said I think one of us cares about the other more than the other way around. She said she was fine with it and then went on with the conversation, even changing the subject to ask me, How my day went. We talked on the phone that night for about a half hour.
I thought she was fine with it, but I was wrong. She had a night to think about it. The next day she sent me the longest rambling, almost incoherent email. At the end of it she said, Don’t tell all your friends I fell in love with you , because I didn’t. I sent back an email saying if she wanted to talk call me on the phone. I wanted her to call me because she was rational on the phone.
She ignored-my suggestion of talking on the phone. Instead, she sent me more bizarre emails every day for a week. At first I read the emails laughing. I was also reading them to see if she was going show up at my place holding a gun.
I talked to my friend and she said to just block her. I had never blocked anyone from my email so I had to google how to do it. That solved my problem for a couple of weeks. Then she figured it out and started sending from different email address with a different name. She called herself Sonja but in newest emails, she was using different names but always the same initials. I’m not sure if I ever knew her real name. One of the emails came from her office computer.Which she had told me before she could never use for personal business. She told me before she couldn’t use her office computer /to email anyone But she did use it to email me After I didn’t’ from her and I thought she was done. Little did I know.
She relented for about a month but then it was Christmas time. She sent me my astrology chart. I didn’t want it but there it was on my computer. I was a little astonished how she knew my astrology chart. I didn’t know how she knew my birthday . Creepy.
When I asked her to stop sending-me crazy emails. She acted like nothing had happened. She blamed her daughter’s boyfriend who she said broke into her house and hacked into her email account. that made no sense to me.
About 4 months later I got the strangest email of them all. It was like it was written by a stranger in the 3rd person telling me about the story of us. And most bizarre was apparently during the time I hadn’t heard from her we were having a “beautiful relationship” through Craigslist personals. I don’t know who she was having a relationship with there but it wasn’t me because I had never talked to anyone through Craigslist.
I don’t know if the whole time was her idea of being in a relationship. It didn’t make any sense to me. All of our emails were so perfunctory. She was sending me emails that didn’t reveal anything about herself and I was just replying to her. There was nothing romantic about any of our writings. I just thought she was bored and looking for a pen pal.
I don’t know how she got so attached through such infrequent, banal emails. It was mostly her not answering any of my questions, instead asking me what I had been doing and me answering with some things I had done. My life wasn’t very exciting at the time.