Flurries

Monday

No. It did not snow this weekend. Thank god! It has actually been unseasonably warm. Senator Inhofe would be hard pressed to find a snowball to make fun of global warming today.

My temperature has been going up as well. The good news is I think I’ve figured out what has caused all my morning rages the past couple months. The bad news is I can’t do anything about it. It started when my hours of sleep cut down. Why don’t I just sleep more, you ask? Good question. I think we all know the answer. When I take my night meds like a good boy, they work fine at putting me to sleep but I only stay asleep 3 hours. That means I have to wait 3 more hours for the meds to wear off. Apparently, these are not good meds to stay awake while they are in effect.

I discovered this after too many times missing my meds. I realized I felt much better on those mornings but I functioned less in the afternoon and evening. I can’t really stop taking my meds so I’m trying to change my morning routine. Believe it or not, drinking more caffeine helps. I guess it makes the meds wear off quicker. I’ve also started drinking coffee while lying in bed. (not this morning, I’m writing to you) But, if I spill even a drop on my blanket, rage ensues. I can’t figure it out any further than that. I’ll have to ask my doctor. He won’t know what to do either. I will tell him I’ve been on this combo for so long, I don’t want to change it.

Oh well, back to my medication experiments. The only reason I miss them at night is I fall asleep unexpectedly. I still only get 3 hours but no med hangover. I can’t do that too often. With the aforementioned, I just started foaming at the mouth because I clicked the wrong link with my overly sensitive new mouse. Okay, back to bed with my coffee.

Tuesday

I’ve been trying to find a book to listen to and write about but it is proving difficult. The first two had interesting titles and blurbs written about them but it was like being read to from a textbook. I couldn’t follow along. Now I am listening to The Smart Swarm by Peter Miller. It is related to the collective consciousness of ants, bees and birds; something I’ve always been interested in. Just my luck it is another book about how to be more productive in your job and make the bosses more money. But the guy is beating dead horses with example after example of the point he is making. I am not going to make it through 6 more hours of this. He is also killing me with the acronyms. He mentions it once and I am supposed remember what the acronym stands for throughout the rest of the chapter. And it’s not a paper book so I can’t go back for reference.

I am trying to write a fun post for Sunday so I can get back to at least 2 a week. But I spent a week thinking about it and I will probably spend another week writing it. My ability to concentrate is at an all time low. I’m not promising anything here on a Tuesday.

I think I was right yesterday. I slept 5 hours last night and it was enough for the side effects to wear off and no raging this morning. I’m feeling very calm!


I just saw something about moderation drinking. A man should limit himself to 4 servings of alcohol in a session. I could never do that. If I have 4 shots of whiskey I’m crawling the rest of the way into the bottle.

Thursday

I’m not as nervous about the president. He is trying his best to dismantle the country in his last 2 months but I was really afraid he would deny the election with all the party behind him. Now I remember when the guy on tv called Pennsylvania, he said anything the president does now is just “Flailing and failing.” Right now his personal “lawyer”, Ghouliani, is in court making a fool of himself and pissing off the judge. I just can’t wait until January.


Since I quit trying to quit coffee I’ve been drinking a lot more of it. Ironically, I am getting more sleep now than I was before. I think it’s because the later I stay awake the more hours I get in the morning. I went for a stretch of fading around midnight and waking up at 3 or 4 not knowing if I should go back to sleep or wake up. I’ve only gotten 2 nights of good sleep in a row so I’m not celebrating yet.


My mom quit drinking when she was 50. Now she acts like she’s never taken a sip in her life. She gets offended when I say fuck. I call bullshit! She was trashed all the time and every profanity or debased joke I know I heard from her when I was a kid.

Saturday

I don’t really have a good way to wrap this up. It’s 4am and I just woke up. I chose coffee instead of nighttime meds. I can’t risk taking it and feeling terrible while I stay awake all day.

I will probably run through two pots of coffee before it is time to go to my daughter’s house. I will be wide awake when I am with her. I never get tired. I just find myself in bed late at night and bored so I fall asleep for a couple hours. I hate waking up. My brain feels distorted.

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