The Witching Hour


12/28/20: I just rage walked to the pharmacy. I was forced to go and it was a close call I might get rained on. The reason I had to walk on this particular day is because you can only pick up controlled meds one day in advance. Even though mine won’t kill me. While I was there though, they gave me 3 more months worth of another med that can kill me. Do you think they warned me not to take too much?

I say rage walked because that is usually what I do while I am walking down the street. I scream at everyone who has wronged me. It doesn’t matter; Nobody can hear me, they have their windows rolled up. For all they know I am probably singing along with my iTunes. It’s cathartic. It takes about an hour to walk to and from the pharmacy. By then I have yelled at everyone I know. I feel calmer now than most days at 2pm. It was satisfying to only feel 2 raindrops on my face as I stuck my key in the door.

I used to have a friend who lived 2 miles away over the border where it is recreational but sitting in her car in my state for the same thing could land her in jail.

Dude! For like ten minutes I was totally going to get wasted! I wanted to get two big bottles of red wine. I don’t even drink wine. I do sometimes but it would be rare. I do like red though. Higher alcohol content! Then it just went away…

Wednesday 12/30/2020:

I am spending the holidays alone so I took a quick look at the hook up site on Christmas and just this morning. JFC! These guys don’t change a thing. They just keep trying with the same shit they post everyday. They don’t even acknowledge it is Christmas or New Year’s Eve coming up. What cracks me is the married guys. That’s right. After a year of searching, Christmas day is the day you are going to find another married woman to help you cheat on your wife! (Did your husband take his phone into the bathroom Christmas morning?) NYE is tomorrow and I haven’t seen one mention of it. Just copy and paste ads from the same men who have no luck every day…

I’ve really been thinking of tying one on tomorrow night and starting off the New Year hungover! If the store I can walk to sells champagne I think I will. It popped (no pun intended) into my head last week but I wasn’t really serious about it. But now I think, what am I going to do? Sit here and watch awful music on television and see the ball drop? I will if I can get my girlfriends to come over but they were just here last night and one of them has kids so they will probably stay home.

Yeah, my girlfriends are staying home so I probably won’t get drunk. It’s just stuck in my head. It’s my second favorite holiday next to the 4th of July. Even though I don’t think the change to a new year is something special.

Lol. I just saw the sobriety blog I follow gearing up to get people to try “Dry January.” I guess it’s okay if I stop drinking before midnight tomorrow? Let’s hope it goes better than “Dry July”, where the people who run the blog apparently relapsed the last week of the month and stopped posting tips and stories about being sober! I stayed sober in July. I’m relentless!

I’ve done some cat fishing but do you want to know who answers me most often when I am obviously looking to meet a woman? I’ll tell you right now. Your husband! This is a typical reply I will get: “50’s MWM, 6’2″ 250lbs want to be your submissive little cocksucking slut!” First of all; What? I’m 5’10” 200, how is that even supposed to work? A lot of the time they send me an unsolicited picture of themselves wearing their wive’s underwear. It is usually too small as their hairy chest is too broad to snap the bra. Being married is the first thing they mention. I’ve teased them and it is because married men can’t be out sucking everyone off. But how can that be true if they are offering to suck off any random stranger on the internet?

The last guy who answered me had a copy and paste form letter he sent out to all the straight guys. (All the gay guys aren’t looking for each other because it’s STD dangerous, I guess) He said he was 50, bottom, submissive, likes to wear panties and masculine. (I guess?) What did he think would turn me on about that description? (he went on about what a nice guy and fun he was) The total opposite of what I was looking for. I don’t care what you do but what are you trying to do? Turn me? I sent back a message saying I thought you were BORN gay? Now it’s a CHOICE? I went off on him but not too much. He came back with a picture of his dick and all caps saying he had that up my mother’s ass last night! (So much for nice, fun guy) But WTF? Just because a big hairy guy is wearing lace doesn’t make him attractive to me. Are straight women answering gay guy’s ads trying to turn them?

I’m just going off because that was my last interaction on a dating site. I don’t know what these guys are thinking they can get laid during the holiday season. Everyone is home with their wife and kids. Nobody is going to get a babysitter and go out and fuck you Christmas or New Year’s.

Lol, I just got laid last night. I don’t even know what I’m talking about? It worked out great! The night before I made my sex playlist on my iPad. Which is basically all the songs I never got out of my chair to hit skip on my ancient iPod Classic. I have excellent taste in music. Last time I was in a bar they had an internet connected juke box and I played the shit out of that mother fucker! People used to listening to Irish jigs were like, “Wow! Who played this song? I love it!” Every time it was me because I was the only one putting any money into the machine. I can rock a place old or new, usually both at the same time! Ah good times… That was the last time I was manic and publicly drunk.

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