Road to Redemption

Sunday March 21/21: I can’t believe it! I got 8 hours of sleep last night! I hope that is the end of the 3 weeks of withdrawal from that stupid medication.

Tuesday: Gawd! Yesterday I couldn’t function. It comes and goes, but so do my regular symptoms so I don’t know which way is up! Today I am up way early but I unexpectedly fell asleep at 8pm and woke up around midnight to take the rest of my meds. 8pm is unheard of for me. I usually go to bed around 2am at the earliest if I am bored and it is always planned. We are having a string of spring temperatures and I opened the window as soon as I woke up. My cat has no idea what is going on. I haven’t slept 10 hours in 1 night since I got him 8 years ago!

I haven’t mentioned the name of the anti-psychotic I stopped taking that has given me so much trouble. That is because I know some side effects are different for each individual and I don’t want to scare anyone into stopping theirs suddenly. That is never a good idea! I did it because I have so much of it left and it starts acting in 1 day. If I had more severe symptoms I hope I would have had the wherewithal to start taking it again. The withdrawal was bad enough I would think about taking 1 just to get a 1 day break. I resisted so I wouldn’t have to start quitting from day 1 again. If anyone really wants to know what medication it is you can email me.

Last week I had a good day and put together a slide show to use for my next YouTube video. Now I have to narrate it and that is where it gets difficult for me. On my first short video I just did it on the fly but it was only 90 seconds long. On this next one I will have to talk for 5 minutes and I want to sound coherent without any uh’s and um’s. I’m not sure how to do it. I thought of typing something out but how would I know how much typing equals 5 minutes of speaking? Another problem is I don’t have much confidence in my voice. It doesn’t help I have a heavy Boston accent. I’ve been told many times I have a great voice on the phone but I’m not sure if that is a nice way of saying I’m ugly.

Wednesday: Quixotic. I’m suicidal but I treat my body like I want to live forever.

Thursday: I had a yeah! wake up this morning. I wanted to do everything even before I had my first cup of coffee. It was pouring rain and I couldn’t go outside but that didn’t bother me. Well, I could go outside but… I want to ride my bike. We had 2 nice Spring days but I didn’t feel like getting it ready. Then I really wanted to go but the weather turned.

Friday: I finally did something right! I bought my daughter “Villians” by Queens of the Stone Age on vinyl. It was funny because I just texted her yesterday saying the next thing she gets in the mail with my name on it is for her and it would probably come tomorrow. (Today) An hour later her mom texted me a picture of her holding it up looking happy. Her mom said she was pumped. I like to surprise her so I was happy.

A funnier story is I ordered her a single from Royal Blood way back at Thanksgiving. February came and she never said she got it. I emailed the company and they said they would send another copy. I waited a couple weeks and didn’t hear anything so I was like, Fuck it, I’ll just buy it again. The last time I was at her house she said something about buying the Royal Blood single and she didn’t know why she kept getting copies. In one week she received the original one I ordered back in November, the one she bought, the one the company replaced for me and the second one I bought because I was sick of waiting for her to get it! Four copies! She had so many she gave one to her boyfriend. I don’t know, I thought it was funny.

Saturday: I give my daughter shit about being a hipster for liking vinyl records. But I get it. I used to buy a new vinyl every week when I got paid at my little kid job. It’s a whole experience. It’s much more fun than listening to songs by pushing a button on your phone. It’s physical. You can pick it up and look at it. You have the artwork on the outside; more exclusive artwork on the inside if it is a double album. Maybe the lyrics are printed. Maybe there is a little booklet with pictures of your favorite band. The record player is a pretty cool piece of technology from ancient times. I never imagined vinyl would make such a comeback. I’m glad she likes it. She gets so excited when she gets an new album. She is really into it. Some bands she won’t even listen to their new songs until she gets it on vinyl. Weirdo.

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