When I first had to start dating again it was the beginning of the texting revolution. I had never talked to anyone that way before. But I buckled down and joined the 21st century, buying a phone with a full keyboard. I had no idea what I was in for.
At first I thought it was great. I had phone numbers from multiple women and it was fun texting all the time. But texting all the time was the problem because these women wanted to text, ALL the fucking time! First thing in the morning, all day, until they went to bed, again the next day and the next day.
I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Someone would text for hours and I would ask, “What are you doing?” and they would tell me they are at work. What was their job? Texting me? Yes. They were getting paid to text me all day. Not just a text here and there when they got a break. They could text me faster than I could text them back. That was my problem because when I was new to texting I felt compelled to answer someone as soon as I heard my phone beep. Another thing I found was women who only texted me when they weren’t available. Text, text, text. Me, “What are you doing?” “Oh, I’m at work.” “Oh, I’m at home with my kids.” I’m thinking for chrissakes, what are you doing? Spend some fucking time with your kids. I found that to be the worst. It was endless texting and I never got to meet anyone.
Another disturbing thing that happened a lot, like, a lot, was the fear of abandonment. I’d be text, text, text, get hungry, make myself some food, maybe take a shower, drive down to the corner store and buy some energy drinks. Anything. Just everyday things. I would come back 20 minutes later and my phone was blown up! “Where are you?” “What’s wrong?” “Was it something I said?” “Are you mad at me?” Different women, same four questions. That was too much for me and would be the end of the texting relationship. Not only is it, JC could you be a little more needy please? It’s also a form of controlling behavior. They want all your attention, all the time. I had enough. I developing PTSD from the sound of my phone beeping.
It got so bad I would be emailing chicks and they would ask if I wanted to text and I would say, no, I don’t text and tell them why. They would say, “Oh, I’m not like that, he he… ” Oh, a few days later they were most definitely like that. I probably missed out on a lot of good dates because I wouldn’t text. I don’t know. I would say I have no problem calling and talking on the phone at night if you want. Most people did not want to do that. I didn’t get it because way back when I started “dating” that is what people did. Now you have to text back and forth for four hours to say what you could say in a half hour phone call.
It was the novelty of it that first got me to fall into the “text trap”. Now I am more rational about it. I don’t feel compelled to answer right away if it’s not important. I bail when I realize a woman is only texting me when she is at work or with her kids. Then she gets a free night and I don’t hear from her? See you later.
Now my favorite text to get is, “I just got out of the shower see you in 45 minutes.”