Welcome to the World

Robot Brain

July 31, 2021, Saturday: When I woke up this morning I texted my daughter, “Good morning proletariat”. Then I thought, Maybe I should have looked up the spelling before I wrote it. I Googled and had it right, it also meant exactly what I thought. I got lucky because I used be so sure of these things. Now I doubt my memory but I am usually surprised. Unless I am having a huge brain cramp.

I was nervous all day about her first day at work for no good reason. She loved it. She made friends with the girl who trained her and they went to lunch together. I was surprised. She used to be slow at making new friends. I am still so happy!

I checked today’s weather yesterday and it is going to be another beautiful day. Again, I told myself I am going for a long ride no matter what happens. I didn’t really sleep and by 8am I was already making excuses to get out of it. Too chilly, little cloudy, wind is blowing the trees pretty hard. Fuck all that! I felt so good the last time I went, I have to do it. It is going to feel weird going for a ride on a Saturday and not be visiting my daughter. She is working again today.

Maybe I will ask her mom what is going on at her house today. I know most of the people who might be there on a weekend but I don’t want to invite myself over. We have known each other for 20 years and we are still friends. I get along with her husband. I have always gone there to see my daughter and I don’t want to put her in the position of having to say no.

Ha! While I was typing that my mom texted me and asked if I was going to see my daughter tomorrow on her day off. I was confused. I had it in my head she was working Sunday and had Monday and Tuesday off. Completely backwards. I don’t know why. I saved the pic of her schedule and I’ve looked at it several times. Another excuse to stay home today. I don’t know if I can make the ride two days in a row. Which is bullshit, I know I can and I don’t even know if she has plans tomorrow.

I definitely have tinnitus and it is getting worse. It used to be slightly annoying. Now it is front and center. I searched for a way to relieve it and found there was no cure. That scared me. I read people use noise cancelling headphones to help or low background music. I’ve been trying the low music and writing to take my mind off it. It was helping a lot but today it is loud. CBT is also supposed to help but I’m not sure how or where I could find a therapist who knows about it. I was afraid the magnesium was causing it and did a Google and found it is specifically used for relief. I thought it worked a couple of times but today I don’t know. It may not have had time to kick in yet. It is fairly loud and hard to ignore. I may have to invest in a pair of headphones.

I started worrying about how much they would cost while I’m sitting here with all the information in the world at my fingertips. I was surprised I could buy a highly rated set of noise cancelling wireless earbuds for $44 at Walmart. I was thinking they would be out of my $ range. They are on the way! No need to fret!

“Keep their heads ringin’!” Dr. Dre.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s