Perspective Shift

Robot Brain

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” Bukowski

I wasn’t going to write today. But then I left the house for a few minutes.

I walked to the store a coffee. I usually don’t drink coffee after dark, but I said fuck it… I’ve been lying in bed for hours and gravity has been giving me the feels. It’s better than getting drunk and I gotta shift outta neutral. What am I afraid of? The coffee is going to keep me awake

My buddy is working. He is one of the few people there that will engage with me. He always, “Hey Billy, how doin’ tonight?”, I always crack wise with something stupid. I don’t know how he knows my name and I am afraid to tell him I don’t remember his. (Can you hazard a guess) It doesn’t’ matter. He trying to make the best of it. I’m pretty sure his life plans didn’t involve working at a gas station convenience store at age fifty.

He wasn’t paying attention and turned left, I stopped like I was surprised to see him and said, “What the fuck are you doing here?” It took him a second , he hadn’t seen me but he knew… “As little as possible, I guess, Billy, You know?” What did I say? “Is that like hardly working or hardly working?” (sic) I guess he was doing as little as possible because now he’s walking past the coffee machine which is where he just came from and sticks with me,”Actually, I get paid to loiter…”… “Ah, shit I got fired from that job two weeks before I was going to collect my pension.” That’s it. Fucking hilarious shit, right? We should take our show on the road.

I finished pouring my coffee, thinking that’s all it took to brighten up my day. Remembering a while ago I put a twelve pack up on the counter and he said the usual, “How you doin'” I looked up and deadpanned, “I think there’s a glitch in the Matrix.” He just looked down, took my money, nodding his head, somberly, “Yes, yes, there is definitely a glitch in the Matrix.” And I walked out. Why do I remember that? It’s not original… It’s not funny…. I don’t walk around speaking in movie quotes. That’s the point. It isn’t funny, we’re making stupid jokes about stupid jokes not being funny and that’s what makes it so funny. (If that was the end of the story, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing right now. If you know me, you know there is always more to the story.)

“So I’m standing there minding my own business,” Not really, I’m kinda listening to whatthefuckshisname talk to the old broad in front of me. She is talking about something, how people are quitting their jobs and it’s terrible, nobody wants to work and she doesn’t know how they get by… He says, “I don’t know, I guess the internet is pretty liberal.” (You know,wink, wink, there are other ways to make money) I know you aren’t supposed to pigeonhole people but how did I predict this whole scene as soon as this bitch and her boyfriend walked in? They weren’t wearing “TrumpAmerica” T-Shirts but…

As soon as he said the word, “liberal” her eyes popped open and what do you think came out of her dumb ass mouth? That’s right, the snowflake rhetoric. “You can’t say anything on the internet, you get censored by (air quotes) “fact checkers” blah blah, people get triggered and start to cry…” (I’m thinking, watch this) I only looked in her direction because the door is right there and she started spouting off. My expression didn’t change, no eye roll, nothing. I turned to him and said, “I don’t know? I hang out on the good part of the internet and nobody gives a fuck what I say.”

Snowflake? Triggered? Crying? Who’s having a fucking meltdown now,? As she is still yelling at my my back while the door closes behind me. She can’t see that I’m starting laugh my ass off.

What exactly was she “triggered” by? He said the word, “liberal?” I said,”good part of the internet?” Was she offended by the word “Fuck?” I mean, what was it that caused the snowflake to melt? Does she want to make it illegal to say those words in public? We weren’t talking politics, nobody asked her opinion. We’re just trying to have a good time. Is she trying to censor me? Am I being politically incorrect? I’m right, nobody gives a fuck what I say on the internet. Read this post… Shouldn’t I be censored. Some of these people are so fucking stupid. They don’t see the irony. I’m don’t care what her politics are,(well, I do but) just don’t get in my fucking face about it.

Okay, she’s right. Being censored by a public corporation for violating their terms of service, which she agreed to when she signed up for their service is a violation of her 1st amendment rights. I believe I learned about that in grade school.

Jesus Fucking Christ! You don’t like FB, get off FB. I haven’t been on in 10 years. I don’t miss people from high school popping up, asking how, I’ve been… How I’ve been? I’ve been not talking to you for for twenty fucking years, That’s how I’ve been.

All I wanted was a coffee, it’s pouring rain, the storm drain is backed up, there is a foot deep lake blocking the path. I have to walk a friggin’ mile around to get to the store and I’m still happy, and this fucking bitch decided to ruin my night. Now I’m drooling and spitting all over my computer.

Not really. I got it out of my system just in time. I’m supposed to be let into a Zoom meeting, oops, I’m in! Someone started a “mental health support group”, Loosely defined. It is the first meeting. It just a bunch of regular people hanging out on Friday night. It seems pretty cool!

8 thoughts on “Perspective Shift

      1. This town is like an alternate universe, it’s not unusual to see pick up trucks with huge American flags flying and a big F*ck Biden billboard in the back. That’s why I went off the rails last weekend when I went to Portsmouth with my daughter, it’s only 15 miles away but its great.. I’m going to write another post here. lol

        Liked by 1 person

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