No Hard Feelings

Robot Brain

This has been on my mind for a bit. I’m not really sure where to start. I know…. When I was about 4 years old, my dad punched my mom in the face and knocked her 4 front teeth out. That was the last time any of us saw his dumb ass. No child support; two kids. Nothing. I have no memory. Nobody talked much about. I never gave it much thought. Lots of kids didn’t have dads around.

But his parents, They are rich. Maybe they felt bad, they like to take my brother and I on some weekend trips. Okay, whatever, we had fun, we were little kids, but these people don’t really mean much to me. My grandparents are my mother parents. But not even they would mention my dad. I never thought much about it until a few years ago. (wait, once my brother and I were playing football at their house, some guy pulls up, starts throwing the ball around for a few and goes inside.. After our grandparents ask if we had fun with our dad? Dad? Pretty sure he wasn’t expecting us to be there)

Getting a little sidetracked. They got money coming out their ass. My family was poor. Nobody asked them for money. Maybe she could have used some for her broken dentures she has needed since she was 22 years old, never had dental insurance? Whatever, they don’t owe us shit, right? (oh shit, I”m laughing! I just had to come back, I remembered this. No Christmas gifts, or birthday, not even a card in the mail?)

Finally my mom gets in a position she can buy a house, ask for a little help… They tell her to fuck right the fuck off.. I’m only only 10, I don’t know what’s going on in life but we stop seeing them.

Just a backstory, (like I said, I never put much mind to it) here is the fucked up part.. In 2017 I got hit by a car and almost died. They visited me in the hospital…. Nothing weird about that except they start telling me my life story. Haven’t seen them in 40 years, but they know I’m married, I have a kid, everywhere I have lived etc… Now they want to have a reunion, meet my daughter, She was 12 at the time. What’s been going on. (Almost forgot this part… Oh. BTW, your dad died a couple years ago)

I’m still amicable at this point. I make the arrangements, my mom my daughter and I show up at their house on their schedule. Okay, no big deal, friendly, reminiscing, but my grandfather kept interjecting at unusual times, “No hard feelings.” Maybe I”m dense why did he say that at least 5 times.

Then it hit me… He is saying, “No hard feelings”, He forgives us for not making the effort to connect with them! They’ve been keeping track of us my whole fucking life! I”m still friendly, we visited them a few more times. They’re going to dies soon.

This was fucked up. I guess every year on Father’s Day, the whole family throws a huge party for my grandfather and they all show up and kiss his ass because he is rich. Maybe I’m wrong, but there is no big mother’s day party for my grandmother?

This year they were putting pressure on me to go to this father’s day party. Uh, I don’t fucking think so. Do what I did on Father’s day? I went to my daughter’s house to visit her and her mom and her step-dad and we had a great time!

Should I go on? One more thing. I sent my grandmother an email telling how excited I was when my daughter got her license. She wrote back, oh good! Now you two can come see us all the time! I think, why the fuck would my 16 year old daughter want to go see a couple people in their 90’s. I was nice and replied, She is 16, has a car a job and a boyfriend, I am afraid I will never see her again.

Haven’t heard back… That was last July.

I kind of like it because I would get anxiety trying to coordinate 5 people’s schedules so my daughter can do this bullshit she doesn’t care about. Same with me. I didn’t ‘forget’ about them, but I kind of did. They showed up in my hospital room after 40 years. Like okay? Thanks?

I shouldn’t but I’m really laughing right now. I don’t think about it much until it just pops into my head. It’s ridiculous. I had to write it because it pop into my head. I was afraid to start because I’m not looking for pity. This is the kind of thing that makes me laugh.

7 thoughts on “No Hard Feelings

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