During my “Summer of Fun”, I spent the rent on women. I was manic and had just discovered the world of online dating. The reason I went on so many dates is because I didn’t spend enough time getting to know the person before we met. I would make them laugh in the morning and meet them that night. Then I didn’t pass the interview process. I didn’t get many second dates. The other reason is I wasn’t looking for anything serious so I had some casual hookups.
I had two problems working against me that put a damper on my fun in the sun. One problem was I lived with my Nazi brother who made it abundantly clear there were no women allowed at his house. It’s not like I was going to fuck on his musty old couch. The other problem was the women I met on dating sites. Typically they would be in their 40’s, recently divorced with two young children who lived at home. These women tended to be looking for a man they like but also made enough money to move into their house and split the bills. I had no inclination to do that and they quickly found out during the dinner interview process that my disability benefits weren’t going to pay the rent.
I met some women who were quite rude. Once a woman asked me what I do for work and when I told her my situation she rolled her eyes and didn’t talk to me for the rest of dinner. ( The dinner I was paying for) That made for a long awkward silence because we had just ordered appetizers and meals and just had to sit there and wait for it to be over. I should have gotten up and left her to pay the bill. But I’m old fashioned and think if I ask someone out then I should pay. Eventually I switched to quick coffee dates and saved myself some money. You can tell if you are going to hit it off with someone in the first five minutes.
I recently read a post by a woman complaining about being ghosted. She said guys should, “Man up and communicate.” If she only knew the number of times I’ve been ghosted. Even after women have told me unprompted to call or text them the next day. Here is an extreme example but some others aren’t too far off. I met a woman at a restaurant for a meal. We didn’t have any drinks. We hit it off so well that we stayed after we paid the bill and only left because the place was closing. We went out to the parking lot and talked some more. She said she had to get home because she had a babysitter. I leaned in to give her a quick hug and she turned her head and started kissing me. I was surprised but went with it. Afterward she told me I better call her the next day and then took my picture with her phone to put my face in her contacts. She said she wanted to know it was me when I called. I went home happy and the next day decided to give her a call. I did and got no answer. No big deal, I just left a quick voicemail. I didn’t get a call back so I sent her a short text the next day and that was it. I never heard from her again.
I think I found out why I got ghosted with no explanation so many times. I met a woman online and we texted for a few days. When we met in person it was obvious her online picture was from 20 years ago. I didn’t say anything and decided to make the best of it. She was embarrassed or something and wouldn’t make eye contact or even talk throughout the meal. I was careful to ask her questions without a simple yes or no answer but I could not get a conversation started. Which was strange because she had a ton to say over texting almost non-stop. We got outside and I told her I had a good time (lied) and said I don’t think we were a good match and drove home.
By the time I got back to my place I already had 2 texts from her. She wanted to know why I didn’t like her. She wanted to know exactly what was wrong with her. I texted back I was tired and would talk tomorrow. Well, tomorrow came and she had all night to think about it. I was woken up early in the morning by my phone buzzing. It was her sending text after text. She didn’t even give me a chance to answer before she sent me a text and then another and another, etc… She wanted answers but I couldn’t give them. She went on blowing up my phone for 2 days. I couldn’t take it but my phone didn’t have an option to block callers. I finally had to contact my service provider to block her number. Maybe that is why so many women ghosted me the next day after saying they had a great time. Maybe they had guys do the same to them. I don’t know.
Two more good reasons to ghost me were my alcohol consumption and my manic mouth. Neither of which I had any compunction of showing off. I didn’t always do it. It depended on the person I was with or where we met for the date. In the time it took to have apps and dinner (about an hour?) I could tip back 3 24 ounce glasses of Sam Adams ale. (gulping drinks and tolerance are 2 red flags for alcoholism) It only served to fuel my long rambling storytelling. I’m not a bore but that is the direction I would go if I couldn’t get a good conversation started.
Maybe I am a bad dater, but you can’t lay all the blame on me. Isn’t the point of dating to have fun? So many women are busy looking for “the one”, they forget to have fun. I’ve been on so many “all business dates.” Isn’t finding the one for they young? I’m just happy to find someone who is compatible.
It wasn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be. That is why I call it my “Summer of Fun.” I did have a lot of good times. I’ll save some of them for future posts. I got started on this one because I was reminded of being ghosted and how it was funny a woman was complaining about it. I didn’t think women had that problem.